I should be reading some Bernard Shaw now...Mrs Warren's Profession. I like Bernard Shaw sometimes. Not always, but sometimes. We have been reading really disturbing plays for this class (Modern Drama) and I am really enjoying it endlessly. Today I got new headfones that have a microfone. I was inspired by this girl who sits on campus talking to people probably on MSN with a voice-chat. I thought it was a cool idea. I could get the headfone/mic to university and just voice-chat with whoever when I am doing nothing and acting lazy anyway. Man, I still have to read a chapter from The Bluest Eye, and some of Nietzche's Birth of Tragedy. My life is a mess. A hurricane of words and letters. Isnt this what being a literature major about? At least that's what I feel. I like it though. It's a strange combination of pleasure and pain (this is what my paper is going to be on..my 1-page response paper)

I will not sleep before I am done with my stuff.
I will not sleep before I am done with my stuff.
I will not sleep before I am done with my stuff.
I will not sleep before I am done with my stuff.
I will not sleep before I am done with my stuff.



I will not sleep before I am done with my stuff.
I will not sleep before I am done with my stuff.

I am trying to convince myself to do the work that I am supposed to be doing. I don't think it's working even though it HAS to work because I have to get good grades this semester in order to not further mess my GPA.

IwillnotsleepbeforeIamdonewithmystuff.

That's right.

Before University Starts.

It takes me an hour and a half to get to unidersity. AN HOUR AND A HALF! Meaning, three hours a day are lost in transportation...and my dad wouldnt get me a car before I am in the 1st Category and he's paying less money for university. This, however, doesnt seem to want to happen. It's really foggy outside. Everything is a tone between gray and yellow. It's very depressing. I think I get affected by the weather easily. The sun makes me happy, rain makes me happy, too. Fog is not cool, wind is NOT cool! (It ruins my hair!) Dust is the worst, though. Later in the year somes dusty wind and I wake up feeling that I am in a grave. Everything gets covered by thin then thicker layes of yellow desert dust. It bothers me when I want to walk in the house barefeet and I keep feeling the dust. It makes me barefeet experience much less enjoyable because it separates my feet from the ground so the feeling goes away. Man..I still have to think of what I'm going to wear for university. A friend thinks that I intend to make myself look ugly because I dont want to be heart-broken. This theory is true with some people but not with me. I really try to look nice and all of this but it doesnt work. It takes a certain body and attitude to be kool, I dont have these. :D Plus, I am not that worried about being unkool either! I think I will cover my hair today with some scarf.
I took some cool self portrait yesterday...I think I'm gonna post some of them here.

Another Entry, I guess!

And here's another entry...! Listening to Dont It Make My Brown Eyes Blue by Crystal Gale just makes me so relaxed. Today was just pointless...a pointless day. It's good, though, that I did nothing. Tomorrow university starts again and I do not even have the option of just doing nothing! Often do I try to think, what decides how happy we can feel? Is it us? God? or others? You are only as happy as you want to be? If you put in your head that you want to be happy, will that not make you happy whatever happens around you? Or are the outside factors what shape our happiness or satisfaction with our lives? I'm still wondering...

Pros and Cons of Hitch-hiking

This is how you stand on the crossroads. You have a hat to prevent the sun from melting your brains in your hot skull. Hitch-hiking with no where to go. Start building the wall between you and the main-road. Leave a whole in the blocks for your arm to hitch-hike. Let cars stop but you will never be able to get in there...or even tell them where the hell you're going. Now pin your ugly shoes to the ground and wish it would rain to wash the dust off of you. It rains and rusts your two pins in shoes. Then you realize that it's the alcohol that made you do all those crazy things. Look at the bottle and crush it against the wall. Then get your arm out of the hole and slap yourself over and over. Take off your pinned shoes and walk barefeet. Leave the wall and start hitch-hiking thinking of more names to places that you wanna go.

Time

Yes, time! Today was the definition of how the time can pass by so quickly. Today passed so quickly! It's like..Wow! It's 3 already, Wow! It's 7! and so on. I would want days to pass like that but like...If all days pass like that, my life would pass in a blink of an eye, literally. In that sense, I would rather that days pass by really slow and that I would be bored and not feel that my life has been stolen no how. Actually, my last couple of years passes like that. I still feel that I am 13 maybe or 14 even though I have changed. These years passed by so quickly that I astonish myself when I say my real age. It's a surprise *laugh*. I feel that I am really much younger than the number of years indicate. Maybe it's just a feeling that I am new; that there are so many things I have not learned yet, or do not know about. Let's listen to some music...I am now listening to a friend's song. If I did not listen to his songs, I would have thought this kind of music is dead already, or that this kind of voice is. His voice has feeling. I should work but I am too lazy to. I should, though.