The Dark Knight

has an aftertaste of an anti-dandruff shampoo commercial.
it operates on pity and fear.

The Inner Truth Behind Meyerhold

The inner truth behind Meyerhold in theatre lies in the movement, pace and color.
The inner truth behind Meyerhold in photography lies in color, composition and expression.

If taken out of context what would you look like? What color would you really be?
will you be blue trust-worthy?
will you be pure white?
will you be infinite black? Royal purple? Misunderstood yellow? Raw green? Mysterious black? Festive Orange? Passionate Red? Confused Gray? Old Beige? Naive pink? Menacingly enchanting sky-blue?

You just might be the color you hate.
You just might be the color that expresses you from the inside, the inner truth of you.

I know someone who is black, real black. Not fake black. Not black because they wear it, black because they ARE it.
I know someone who's gray. I know someone who's gray even though they THINK they are black.

I know someone who is yellow even though they think they are purple. I know someone who is apologetically self-identified as elite.

I know someone who's trying to hide out the beige by pretending to be red. Someone who's intricate motif of beige and red is wrapped around their hearts.
I know someone who's so afraid of green they wish they were brown.
Because green never learns until green is brown.
Because green is easy to break. Because green is childhood and childhood should leave. Why won't it leave?

Ya Reit

This is the point where there's a fine line between imagination and reality.
What's real, what lasts forever? and why should it?

The reserved space for you shrinks when the fine line is finer.

The worst that could happen

In addition to the habit I picked up from Rachel to always list your "at least"s,
I made a habit of my own to say--If you do this, what's the worst thing that could happen?
And then it's O.K because, most of the time, the worst thing that could happen is really not so bad. Or, the worst thing that could happen is not actually a direct result from the risk that I'm about to take.

The worst thing that could happen never happened.
I'm alive!

Which means, it's not too late to change.
I'm changing.
Today I actually DREAMT I had a tidy room.
also today, i started tidying it up more.

A couple of days ago I had a nightmare I was being cheated on.
*the worst thing that could happen there had already happened*
and so from there, I'm ALIVE aren't I?! Hell yes!

Years ago, I said the worst thing that could happen is I will be all alone.
and I'm not.
I have myself and, after all, that's the best company you can get if you acquire the taste for it.

I'm meeting my new year's resolution faster than I thought, and in ways I did not even think of.

Speaking of which, new year's resolutions --strange idea.
do we aspire to be perfect by the age of 60?
If no one drinks, smokes, hurts their friends, gets hurt...if people listen more, talk more, are more attentive, less attentive, more/less obsessive or whichever direction they think they need to change towards, are they going to be perfect at the age of 60?
Even worse, are they going to turn into a boring piece of shit after they have lost all their peculiarities and the things that were their flaws?

Running

I just got rid of my whole dead letter office.
Letters I kept for so long. Some were maybe 10 years old.
I don't need them to remind me.
I will remember.

I want to be lighter.

No more running back.

I have thrown away love letters. I don't need reminding.
I didn't keep things I can't use.
I'm in now.