I am Helpless.

This is the helpless phase. People around me feel all kinds of bad things and I cant even make them feel OK for one second. Even if I try, I fail. Because I am helpless, I am chained. I cant do anything. Freshness of life has failed to reach the hearts of others. Freshness of life has become so worthless. Freshness of life can not do anything. Freshness of life is back as a 16 year old, sittin next to her grandmother who has leukemia reading her bits of the Koraan. Freshness of Life knows that whatever she does, if she can lift the building, if she would bang her head to the wall till her braincells come out, if she could get a hammer and just get all the energy out, it still wont go into getting leukemia to leave the old woman's body.
Now she's 19.
For a long time she thought she can, but she cant. Sarah will still slaughter her own arms, watch her own blood turn into god damn rivers.
Hany will still smoke up just because he knows no other way out of his misery.
Yasmine will still shut up because she feels alien and estranged.

Freshness of Life will die. Freshness of Life will turn into some ugly person who will getaway, one of those who will smile when they least want to. Knowing that others smile because they have to.

Laughing from the heart only existed in the Ice Age, yah?