Mnehh
A friend of mine finally understood my fears and concerns of how the world seems to be coming to an end. I told her that I'm not too worried about global warming, I just hope that humanity survives until the day that we are all in boats screaming over coral under the sea we once called home.
She understands now my concerns about art, and feeling of responsibility towards something so vague as to be called humanity.
The truth is, it makes me laugh just thinking about it; how things that are so important to me might not even matter. Feelings like theatre, and/or any other form of art can make people feel more or less of one thing or a bunch of things at the same time.
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I have a biology exam tomorrow. The thing about biology is that it's too much information. I don't want to know how every cell works and how everything makes sense and completes my body- it makes me less of a piece of magic and it's ugly and boring. It seems much more interesting to think about things like "soul" than to think about "cell-structure" because "soul" can never be so set in stone and proven. Cell-structure almost seems redundant.
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My face is getting pimply.
My mother read me a quote yesterday from Eric Fromm how he thinks in the world now it seems to important to be sexy to even have friends. I understand it as a theory but I never thought that's how it worked in my head. But then again, I hardly have a definition of what's sexy. If sexy is pertaining to something I'd like to have in bed, then maybe I don't even have a definition at all. I don't think I ever had or will have those feelings. They seem to surreal and cliche to the point where they become funny.
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It's conceded of me to say but, I feel like I'm getting it much faster than people around me and it pisses me off for the reason that I like to think that there's more learning involved when I feel under-read. When I'm under-read I feel that I can learn, there's something to learn but when I'm over-read for people around me I feel so bored.
I refute to a certain friend for intelligent conversations, he makes me feel more alive this way.
And I refute for all my other friends for warmth, they all make me feel alive in a completely different way.
1 comment:
Keep on smiling because things that important to whoever X are always not that important to Y because people are different, therefore it's important to understand our differences and deal with them.
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