You might be on to something.
You might not be my favorite playwright but you're on to something.
I see what you're trying to explain.
It's not the rape
It's not the dead babies
It's why the rape
And who really killed the baby.
I am sorry about our miscommunication and misunderstanding on my part
I still hope this will be the last time you choose to speak to me in my dreams
and epiphanize my thought process.
Really, though.
Thanks.
You don't have to show me my nightmares.
or the nightmares of humanity
i already know them,
remember them
see them every once in a while in my sleep
war
blood
rape
blindness
dead babies
hunger
and all.
i don't need to be reminded.
but then again, maybe you didnt write these plays for me
and my likes
and so i will stop here and pass on the opportunity of butchering your every word even as you lie in your grave
tired
hurt
torn
hanged in your bathroom.
maybe i never have to read your words ever again.
Dear Dr. ------
There are a few things I want to tell you and since I'm not a face-to-face type of person when it comes to people I don't really know, I decided I'd write you a letter. Also because it's more personal than an e-mail.
I came into your class eager to learn something (like I often am) and the truth is; I've only learned very few things; one of which is to never work with you because you are quite unfair. You don't appreciate good work, sincerity in it, or good intentions. Also, you are quite judgemental and you have very little self discipline and rare-to-no sensitivity with dealing with people.
I came into this class not because I wanted to be "tough enough" for the business but because i want to direct, and to do that, I need to know what acting is like. You expectations for me far exceeded my limits and abilities and left me feeling rather helpless and humiliated. One of the few things I learned from this class is that I do not enjoy acting, and never will because I don't like being tough, in fact, I think the wisest thing for one to do is to be fragile enough to learn from life and you don't appreciate that either.
I will never understand how you want your student to find themselves in the character and to feel for them when you seem to never sympathize with their emotions and/or take them by the hand.
I'm not tough enough to expect disappointment and for that I thank a certain fragility that I was able to save from your class. I'm greatly disappointed in you, but I'm not sorry that I learned many a negative lessons from your class.
This is what always happens. I smile too much, my cheeks hurt, i start crying.
I'm so happy, I'm somewhere else, until I start being really sad. And it's not something I control, believe me, or don't, it just so happens to always end up this way. It's a recurrent theme in the life of me.
It would be easy to say that when you're too happy you don't notice things that can make you quite sad, but that's not it. It's that, I notice them, but because I'm happy I let them solve themselves and be happy like me.
And then there's a whole drama with theatre. Now, I am not always taking what's on stage offstage but they're not that different sometimes. I mean, after all, theatre is a recreation of reality. People do say things and mean something else and it has disturbed me all my life but now it's just slowly making me paranoid.
It has become too hard to trust you. You never say something because you believe in it, many times you're the devil's advocate, even with me.
You talk too much for you own good, but you never say anything.
I know you hate being called mysterious, but then, why do you make yourself so? And why do you say that you believe in such a thing as the truth, but you just never say the whole of it.
And, why is it that you always avoid problems? You always want to solve things. The truth is, you never solve things, you just talk me out of them and that's not working anymore, because I believe you no more.
Dear Anonymous,
I don't know who you are, but I can tell you're an emotional person who likes reading my blog. These are the two pieces of information I can tell from your comments on my last couple of posts.
I hope you enjoy being anonymous, and I want to tell you that I enjoy it just as much as you do. You're like a picture found on the street, open to all suggestions. I can make a story behind you. I can say you're an old friend of mine who bumped into my blog, I can say that you're a girl from Latvia who checks my blog regularly because we're going through the same things. It's fun imagining what you don't know. So, thank you for taking the time, and thank you for making space for me to imagine.
