the main concern is lightness/heaviness.
and the main concern is also the roots.
If lightness is like being afloat, heaviness is like being planted.
It's beautiful being afloat. It betrays everything, it leaves everything, it glues to nothing.
The real pain begins when you grow roots and try to float again.
It all started 3 weeks ago maybe, when I started noticing other people judging me!
It makes me laugh so hard when people give me the "you're pathetic look".
Different people give it to me for different reasons. Some people look at my bag or my shoes and think *you're not wearing gucci, you're so pathetic*
Other people are like *you didn't do your work on time, you're so pathetic*
A different kind buzz *your best friend ignores you, you're so pathetic* - people give me those looks on a daily basis. It makes me laugh so hard because the things that other people think are pathetic are the best things that ever happened to me, or me at my best!
The other day I was telling my friend how funny it is to me!
Conversation w/ my dad
-"Do you want anything from here"
*"No, thank you, see you soon"
-"bye"
*"bye"
I forgot something, i call him back
-"I forgot something, I DO want something"
*"what?"
-"those weird paper thingies you put over light bulbs and they can be a certain color"
*"oh yah"
-"I want 2 of those for my new apt"
*"I'll get them, promise"
-"thanks baba, bye"
After that conversation, I slept and I had a dream that I was on a train and I didn't have luggage and I was going somewhere. I didn't have luggage and I didn't lose luggage, I didn't NEED luggage.
It was so funny how I didn't need anything.
Last week I got so drunk w/ my friends. We were drinking "to commitment", and it was so much fun. It made me laugh inside how pathetic we must have looked. Me, and my friends celebrating my engagement WITHOUT my fiance!
I need to go to the gym, cut down on smoking, do a lot of work but I'M STILL RELAXED ABOUT IT! lol.
I'm pathetic and it's funny because I'm so pathetically happy!
(it's almost nauseating)
