From a Distance

From a distance, everything seems to be easy.
Everything is said. I see myself from a distance
And force myself to smile. When I am nearer to it,
though,
is when I realize how hard it is to smile with the eyes.
I realize, it's hard.
From a distance I could say
"I'll forget him in one day"
"there's absolutely no problem"
"Everything's going to be alright".
How come I can believe the arm could be an arm again,
after it was cut. How can I decieve myself to say that
I truely believe it?
If the arm could be the arm again, and the sheet could be a sheet again, why, then, can I not do it right now.
I dont know how to.
I forgot what it's like to not feel myself but feel the world. I feel,
as if I can't get out of me.
I can't get out of the traps of memory, either.
It will go away, I know it.
I want to believe it.