Which is Which?

Which is better? The love that brings so much more pain than it takes away...or the loneliness and damp? Which is better; the lover that will torture me, or the lover I am not sure will come? Which is better?
Which is better; years of sadness and poetry and years of happiness and second-like passing times?
Which is better? The choices we make to determine our lives? or the choices we hold but put us, for good, in bad temper?
Which is better?
Which is better; asking who you are, or asking who do you want yourself to be?
Which is better? Asking "which is easier?" or asking "which is more loving?"

And, which is which?