I understand why it is a kind of freedom to have nothing at all. Not to have nothing to lose, but to have nothing that you'd mind losing! It's like travelling light.

I haven't been using my laptop as much lately and the distance between me and my laptop is making me do all sorts of other things that are just as important and sometimes even more interesting.

The reason why I used to blog more often than I do now is because there were more things I didn't understand. In writing there's a search for meaning and/or reason and/or theory! Right now, my life seems to be more boring maybe, or maybe I just take things more lightly and I lose my desire to share so very easily. Not to share with readers, to share with the blog, to utter, to express, to write.

A friend of mine told me I should try to publish my writing--the poetry or the prose in arabic or whatever.
I just don't think I am ready to be a persona just yet.
When I read other people's books the writer is a persona, a ghost that's always there lingering and it's especially funny or emotional when I know the author of that book or have heard about him a lot because the persona seems to be fed by reality, or a certain shade of reality.
So yah, I'm not ready for that.
One day, though, I will look for publishing options.

Maybe what I'm gonna do is print this blog and hand it to a publishing house and see their reactions-- whether they think it's worth anything at all.

Breathe.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Sometimes you give some problems a lot more value than they deserve. Maybe you think they're so big, when they can be so small, and be fixed easily.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Soon I'll go to a hidey place where no one knows and lay on the sand and just feel good.
And maybe sooner I'll relax. It's very hard for someone like me to relax.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Let's try not to make a big deal out of the stage, maybe I'll be able to forget what happens on there.

on so many things

So many things.
Like, how people can be misunderstood.
like, realizing that you really do NOT know everything. not only realizing it, rather feeling it, knowing it with all your senses.

When the street is empty even though it's not 6AM, and it's not 3 AM, either. Sun, and serenity ant the same time.

Precious moments. Really.

When you realize that you're not ugly. You're even beautiful, and you appreciate how beautiful you are. You satisfy yourself. You did everything to be here, and now you're getting Here.

Pretty comes from here.
From now.

I love god, I really do. I rediscover him every day.
Never politicize god. Because god is bigger than getting into these endless wounds.

God is hope. :)