An Author in Search of Characters

I am lost in my play, very very lost, actually. It's definitely a comedy, but I don't want it to be a farce. Farces are humiliating of characters, and I love my character. I mean, I hate my characters...they're such annoying people, but I love them because they're people.I don't want my clowns to be characters for you to laugh, I want them to show you how they can love, and hate, and feel jealous, and enadequate. I want them to tell you how they failed, and they gave up, and they have hope in others.

I wonder if I'll actually be able to tell you the whole story, ever.
Maybe I'm a project of a playwright.

I've become politically involved. I'm thinking of having a different blog for politics. I'm not sure.
We'll see how I feel about it.

The Evil'ness.

This is so bad. I'm laughing inside as a kind of revenge'ish feeling. It's really strange. I shouldn't be that evil. Maybe I am! Heehehehehehhe. I seriously can't stop laughing. Sometimes you feel better when you realize that the drama of your life actually repeats with others, it's sad, but it's funny!

Yah well.
So, ME being the unpolitical, absolutely apathetic person that I am, decided to go on a demonstration.

Dad's reaction is like this (*with a frown*)

ليه يا بنتي كدة؟ اللي عايزين يعملوه هيعملوه و انتي وراكي جامعة و مذاكرة. و بعدين دول ممكن يكونوا عنيفين جدا.

I didn't know what to say. I decided to smile, and nod. I think it was a good reaction on my part.

And then there's the sweet one sided love mania going on. This is the first time I admit it. It feels good to finally admit it.

Sometimes I think, maybe this kind of love is my favorite...it lasts longer than any other kind. See, I fell in love with a guy when I was 13 and I never forgot him until I was 15...even though i DIDN'T SEE HIM DURING THESE TWO YEARS! I used to look at his picture and smile inside.

Well this time, I see him, and I see him often, too. I don't know him, not really. Something about him just speaks to me. I smile inside and tear at the same time when I remember him.

Impossibilities are amazing. Why? Because they draw a limit for you, it's a line, and it's thick. This line is where your powers end.

Politics and Whatnot

This is the first time in the history of this blog that I add a blog related to politics in my blog-roll.

The reason why I never did it before is because I dislike propaganda, and politics and people involved in it have always sounded like propaganda bullshitters to me.
I mean, I sure care about Abdel Kareem who's going to be imprisoned for saying what he wants to say when/where he wants to say it. I just never had anything to add to the incident, nothing of what I was going to say would have been important, or a valuable an addition, simply because I have never put myself/belonged to any of the living political parties/ movements.

Today I add this blog to the blog-roll because the existence of the owner of this blog is living evidence that things are not always what they seem from a distance. I might not agree with what people who belong to Kefaya have to say but I support their right to say it.
I guess I'm a new sharkawy reader.

Representing Egyptian Girls

I noticed that the latest trend is having different bloggers, I won't mention who because I'm a coward and I don't like fighting, saying that the represend this, or that. So we'd have a random girl who says "just like any egyptian girl" or, "an egyptian girl" as if they represent all egyptian girls.

This is unacceptable. This is insanity. I don't think that the percentage of egyptian girls who have access to the internet is over 20%, and I'm being generous and optimistic here. The rest of the 80% obviously do not have the chance/the will to "represent" themselves. And it's not anyone's job to try and put themselves in context by saying that they represent the mute ones! I do not represent anyone on a large scale, neither does any of the bloggers that I have bumped into so far. Maybe we represent small groups who are interested in this and that, or small groups who do this and that, but we do not, and are incapable of representing someone sitting at home just because we belong to the same sex, or nationality as they.

There is not point in trying to make yourself feel important by saying that you are humbly accepting the job of speaking outloud for all the repressed egyptian girls, there's absolutely no point because if people would like to know what they think they could go and ask them what they think. We might belong, or not belong, but we do not represent!

The Lebanon Mania

When the war first started in Lebanon I was so scared. I used to call a friend of mine in Beirut daily, I was scared to death. I thought was has never been so close to me. I was happy when I saw people walking around with Lebanon flags, I put the flag on my own blog. I was supportive, and I liked the fact that everyone was being supportive to the cause.
This was until I witnessed the Day for Lebanon held in my university. They were selling stuff all of which the money will go to Lebanon. They are sending one million EGP to Lebanon. My first reaction was: wow, that's good, then I started thinking about it.
Lebanon is in a much better economic state than Egypt, it's a much smaller country, too. The war has been going on for some 60 days only. Why all the propaganda?
War has been much much closer to me, it has been going on in Palestine for ages now!
Is it that it has been going on for long that we forgot Palestine, the never ending conflict?
I dont really know, but I was mad at myself. I support Lebanon, I wish there was something I can do. I am scared for Lebanon and lebanese people, especially my friends there and my friends' family but, this is mere propaganda. Having pop stars sing for a country not their own this is just media BS.
I will keep the flag on my blog because I love Lebanon, but I wish we wouldnt take it too far that it would become unfair for Palestine, for instance, or Iraq...places that need much more attention.